In Biography, Musing

Earlier this year, a friend and I were having a debate and she asked me, “how do I know the best of my life isn’t behind me?”  I was frozen in the space where my heart knows the answer so clearly but my word brain has no answers. I think I said something like “because, that’s why” in a petulant voice.

As I contemplated this mystery, I realized that the best is yet to come precisely because I bring all of the past with me. Every heart break, every victory, every middle of the road moment is cumulative.

2017 was a tumultuous year. For me, I made some massive changes—selling the dojo, living out of my car, buying my dream home and becoming a landlord. I could never be here except for the path that lays behind me.

I have friends launching businesses, having babies, falling ill, getting divorced, even my mom got married. For each person, these are moments that cause us to press the shutter on our memories, to file this moment away as the road we chose to travel. These choices lead to the details of life, the minute stitches that create the storied quilt of this lifetime (and maybe into others).

For 2018, I wish for opportunities. I wish for more moments and details that I can fill the canvas of the coming year. I wish for what I’ve always wished for and what I’ve always had: love for this lifetime.


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Showing 6 comments
  • Mannette Diederich

    Twoser, you have a wonderful way of writing. It’s poetic as are your thoughts. Thank you for sending this and I wish a peaceful and animated 2018 for you!
    Love, Mannette

    • Mary Aitoshi

      Thank you so much! Writing this felt like a cross between poem and prose. Happy newest of years to you!

  • Shawn-Kimberly Kocher

    Mary, I love this and all your writing. So insightful, promising and filled with light and hope which we all need to see and experience. Thank you for sharing; for your teaching and for your love of learning and wonder. Happy New Year!? ❤️????

    • Mary Aitoshi

      Thank you! I’m feeling very hopeful this year. Thanks for teaching me to type so my words can flow easily

  • Leah

    I love this…you’re best anything can’t be behind you. Thank you for reminding me.

    • Mary Aitoshi


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